I Remember, I Remember...

from Good Morning, Midnight by Becky Becky

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lyrics

I pull the past over me like a blanket and I remember. I remember from February to November. My mouth goes soft under yours. My arms go limp as you kiss me goodbye and you grin. Just like that, you walk out on me. I haven’t said a word, but I’m having a baby. One day you walk back in. I should say, “go to hell.” You tell me to peel you an orange. I should say, “peel it yourself,” but then you lay your head upon my silver breast. The sun, blazing hot, eating peaches together. These blue days that last forever. I like myself today and people are kind to me. They stand and give me their seat. My stomach is huge, but my face is pretty. I read most of the time and I am happy. Now, snow is falling. My hair is long and curly. I hear a woman scream, “Mother! Mother!” “Jesus! Jesus!” shouts another. “Chloroform! Chloroform!” I exclaim. “Courage, courage,” the nurse says. After, I can’t sleep, though he never cries. Should he be as silent as this? Is that a bad sign? How can he be so tiny? How can he be so pretty?